- Time Travel...

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 8; the eighth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

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Yes, I've been missing for a few days. Actually, I was swimming, after learning it of course, in a sea of psychics and I washed up on an island made of shit. The sky was made of uncountable trees and every star was made of leaves. Yeah, that's a load of shit. I've already told a few what happened to me, but the time to tell my story is now. Please bear with me while I write this. 

Ok... deep breath, everyone...

I was abducted by aliens and was forced to travel the time with them!

Yeah. You read that right. Big headed, big eyed, green, creepy looking jackasses interrupted me while I was entertaining myself before work. Not only that, they kept me for a week, and forced me to see the future of the Earth. And to top everything off: When they brought me back I was late for studying for my examinations, not to mention the days I had already missed. If you're going to abduct me, at least have the decency when you do bring me back to bring me back on time. Those assholes owe me for the time for which I am not getting paid. Until they return and make up for that I am going to continue to sit here, shake my fist, and shout idle threats at the top of my lungs.

Narration:

It all seemed like a normal day to me. I was at my house. I was just sitting at the computer, downloading porn... err... about to update my blog when a beam of light was shining right above me. I looked up, thinking maybe a light was installed in the house of which I was not aware (like you've never had a light just show up out of nowhere in your house. Don't judge me.) While inspecting this strange light and trying to figure out its source there was a knock at my door. "Unless you can get me some traffic for my blog, and help me win Blog-A-Ton 8... go away!" Another knock. Damnit! I got up from my computer and my amazing blog that I was about to post for everyone to cream their pants over, to see two tall, lanky, green skinned, black eyed beings. "Are you two, the moronic creatures, who are responsible for this shining light into my house, almost blinding me? Do you know how difficult is to handle the loyal readers of mine when I don't write shit, eh?"
"Glerp, slerp, flerp."
"Do you speak English, Hindi or any thing which I can understand, or are you just a moron?"
"Sorry, forgot we were no longer on our planet. We're here to kidnap you."
"And you knocked on the door?"
"Well, we would have just snatched you from the chair, but how would you have gotten through the ceiling and roof? Those sci-fi movies have it all wrong. You coming with us or not?"
"Sure, what the fuck?" I walked out with the two extraterrestrials and we beamed up into the mother ship.

 

Once aboard they were all surrounding me. "So, what do you assholes want?"
"We're going to destroy your home planet."
"And?"
"You mean... you're not afraid?"
"No. What took you lazy bastards so long? Do you know how long I've been praying and wishing for someone to get this destruction. Get to it!"
"We... umm... what?"
"Where's the goddamned button? I'll push it myself!"

"Er, but we want you to see the condition of your Earth in 2050! Come travel with us!"

"Why can't you do it yourself, man?"

"Because, we need a smart human to test all this shit! Stop talking. Lets move to '50, now!"

"This is shit again! You mean, nothing is finishing in 2012? You guys are lame, morons! Urgh. Anyway, I hope I don't have to see the Baweja guy over there!"

**I went to 2050. They were standing on the gate of 2050, only I could enter and see the bullshit!**

*** And the bullshit did amaze me! Wanna-be bloggers like me were still trying to win Blog-A-Ton XYZ. There was no corruption. I mean, the Govt. had asked the Oxford to remove that term, simply because they were unable to remove corruption itself. I felt proud; proud that I had written posts like Dear God, I hate humanity; But, to hell with my posts! How did the humanity survive till 2050? It's NOT done! This is unfair. I, being a misanthrope, need a quota for myself. I won't be able to bear the stupidity and the selfishness of people that long. No. I'm serious, if  you can get the drift! ****

I came back from 2050, told them whatever shit I'd seen. TRULY. They didn't know what to think. I was on their side. I told them everything they needed to know about Earth. And its future! I spilled all of our secrets. That's right. You may call me as the first one who was a traitor to the Earth! I betrayed Earth and I'll do it again. They ran different tests on me, on my brain, and the results said that I am a certifiable genius (like you people didn't already know that. Eh?) I'd give you the paper with all the results, (A scanned copy!) but it's all written in extraterrestrial so you wouldn't be able to read it. Extraterrestrials are funny as hell when they're hammered. They returned me safely and informed me of when the destruction of Earth would take place. 

**A month later!**  

The alien sent me a message on my private blog that they got self destructed while they were planning to destroy the Earth! Fuck it! I ask  them, why!?! The stupidity of people on Earth saved them this time! Holy fuck!

( Earlier )**When they dropped me back!**

"The results of the guy certainly show that he's a Goddamned genius!"

"BUT, do NOT forget that he is a human. He may be selfish. And cheat us!"

"Right. What should we do?"

"I guess, whatever analysis were made by him, let us simply reverse it. And we'll be done, I'm sure!"

"Perfect. He would've altered everything! Lets do it."

"The end is coming on... !"

**

They felt I was cheating on them, and reversed all the tests. And holy fuck got fucked up themselves! I suffered because of being a human! Gosh, they should have read the definition of "Misanthropes" on the UrbanDictionary before taking a decision. Later, that night. I also got a tweet, which said: - "#EpicFail. You were right. Not all humans are untrustworthy, we should have believed you! The selfishness on your planet was too much for us to handle!" Oh, crap... you know I'm lying, it had more than 140 characters! :P

Oh shit, it's my time, right now. More on to it, later, dumb shits. I prefer not to travel the time in future, now. Had been hearing it, and saw it myself this time, the intelligence and the beauty of the people will keep on decreasing as we progress. If this is our standard in 2010, you can very well imagine, what did I go through in 2050?

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